Thursday, December 3, 2009

Every time you say no thank you to food, you say yes please to thin.

im not feeling so swell. i took over the recomended amount of lax this morning, thinking i can get all the junk out of my stomach from yesterday, after i wrote i continued by bad binge followed by a peppermint brownie and one of those latte from starbucks.

but so far today i haven't ate a single bite of food. its five o'clock here in eastern time and i feel like im doing ana good!

i've never realized how much i enjoy an empty stomach as opposed to a full one. its so much more enjoyable and i feel like these pounds will just meltoff. im going to continue this for tomorrow night. Then Saturday i will have to eat something so my body doesn't go into starvation mode and my metabolism decreases. But i have been doing all the text book workings to increase it, drinking only cold water, cold showers, excerise, green tea.

knock on wood but i feel like i might have mowed right over my slump and back on track.

i have recently been taken the easy ways out, with work school and now ana. but im fixing it.

you must work at the things you want and now i realzie what its going to take to reach my goals.

there is nothign now standing in my way to THINdom.




run (30min)

No comments:

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5

my measurements(may24):

red=met goal