Monday, May 10, 2010


finals are over, we must rejoice!
I'm so glad to get on with my life now that they are over. but now i have to feel school space with new distractions. something productive and useful.
maybe picking up a dance class, god knows i could use the balance. i am about the most clumsiest person to stumble across this earth.

maybe i could finally pick up some reading material, settle down with a good book and finish it.
so i pick up my phone this morning only to get a suprise.
this boy, M. who by all means i consider my best friend sends me a strange picture.
lets get the details down about M. first.
beyond illtelligent, great sense of humor. heterosexual. very attarctive. good body.
boyscout (goofy quality). and always there when i need to talk.
but i have no interest, we are friends but he always trys to presue something thats not there.
its not like i dont find his attractive, its more that i only see him as a brother or friend.
but this picture he sends me, jokingly is him in a typical stripper outfit bowtie, shirtless and rose in mouth.

im actually not shitting you, he has some sense of humor, let me tell you.
i have about [--que hands--]this much clue to what he wants me to say or do with this picture.
its a very confusing relationship from start to finish.
i have a dress fitting tomorrow and im waking up at the break of dawn to run my fat ass off.
at least that is what i hope to achieve. goodnight ladies.








1 comment:

miss alisha said...

I hope you had a wonderful run. The mornings are the best time. <3

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5
forearm-8
wrist-5.5
bust-30
waist-25
ribcage-27
hips-33
thigh-16.5
calf-13

my measurements(may24):
upperarm-11
forearm-9
wrist-5.8
bust-32.5
ribcage-28.5
waist-26.5
hips-38.5
thigh-22
calf-14

red=met goal