Sunday, May 2, 2010

the day after

i am freaking.
i told someone last night about ana and mia.
my secret little friends.
mistake.
i was drunk and the room was spinning.
i could have told anyone anything at that point.


i think i may regret this...

3 comments:

anna.maria said...

ooh that could be bad.. I really try to prevent myself from telling this to anyone and I know it could be difficult when you're drunk.

but you can either tell you don't remember nothing and deny everything (quite stupid but I would do the same.. probably) or just rely on their understanding and ability to keep your secret.

good luck with that, dear!!

Lund3on said...

what exactly did you say? You can always cover your ass and tell em you were drunk.

then when they come back and say that when you're drunk the truth comes out... tell them: not all the time and give them a fake scenario. Like.. guys telling girls they love them so they can get in their pants!

See.. you'll get out of this.

Little Dandelion Girl said...

It always helps to literally give them names Mine are lucy and margot, that way people think I am quirky and just take me for a little eccentric rather than disordered.

Good luck sunshine, I hope your words dont hurt you xxxx

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5
forearm-8
wrist-5.5
bust-30
waist-25
ribcage-27
hips-33
thigh-16.5
calf-13

my measurements(may24):
upperarm-11
forearm-9
wrist-5.8
bust-32.5
ribcage-28.5
waist-26.5
hips-38.5
thigh-22
calf-14

red=met goal