seaweed salad for dinner/lunch
coffee/strawberries/greek yogurt for breakfast
im on a roll.
i feel like a roll
i did though get an am and a pm run in today
i hope tomorrow is better
i could use better
when i talk to my sister, it seems every
conversation in the world relates to her some how
i would start about how i was doing in work
and before i get the first verb out my mouth
she intrudes on my dialogue and talks about herself
i know its her wedding soon and its a load to think about
but is it to much trouble to have a conversation
that is about me?
im on the back burner
the less important pot.
most of the time i want to scream at her
but then we go one fighting for days on end
and then some how the argument gets turned back into my face
where i was the problem and i cause her grief,
i try and stay out of every ones way and
i seem to always be in there way.
i hate confrontation.
i rather let things slide
and avoid arguments
but i always find myself smack dab in them.
i have been taking up my time lately with studying for midterms
midterms that truely seem to undermind my illtelligence.
i feel like the questions are like:
What color is George Washington's white horse?
apparently we are suppose to be idiots.
but if i study and i keep occupied then i stay far from the kitchen.
which is what i need to do.
when i get home from school i set myself down in the kitchen.
i think, i'll just have water
oh but there are some blueberries with my name on it
just blueberries, wont kill you
oh but that cool whip looks pretty lonely.
i bet it would be real good with some frozen bananas.
then bananas turns into peanut butter.
then peanut butter becomes lets make half a sandwich
half a sandwich, why not the whole thing!
oh you have done it now.
might as well eat everything, fatty. you cant avoid being fat.
munch munch munch, till the guilt is found within that last spoonful
of your third bowl on cereal.
BATHROOM BATHROOM, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY BATHROOM!!!
got to get rid of this shit.
quick, drink from the faucet. lots of water helps it come up.
then puke your brains out till you think you got it all.
but you know you didn't.
because you still feel full
want to be punched into the belly.
or shot in the head.
take it this did not happen today, which makes me feel better.
but its raining and it makes me wonder.