Monday, February 8, 2010

half the day is gone and i have eaten all the calories i have given myself
except that last glass of chocolate milk tonight! thats a treat.
i need to rid myself of my peanut butter craving. any suggestions?
i went for a run today and got struck with the cold wind in the north east.
figures the first day i start and it bites me in the ass.
yesterday, actually more like this weekend i become a complete downer.

im figure out how to artifically cheer myself up untill i lose a few pounds.
it i keep my diet under control than i think my weight will return to normal
then i really start dieting.
which is what i need.
as soon as i hit back down to 117, im going to start a clean, (no chocolate milk) fast.

it seems that the only thing i look forward to these days is when i fast and lose weight.
im going to put together a shitload of thinspo tonight
from books, music, pictures, and excerise routines.
i will post what i got and maybe it will brighten my week up.

i didn't want to post my discusting weight on but maybe it will spark my goal to lose it.
height: 5'2"
when the fast begins

alot of goals but i have to be realistic and not shut my metabolism down.
i have given myself about 16 weeks to be 107, thats by June 4, Friday.
if anyone has similar stats and whats to chat let me know.
get back to you soon!


Anonymous said...

Are you aware that you spelled "perfection" incorrectly?

Anastasia Kirstyn said...

hey! we're the same height! i haven't found anyone short it seems in foreverrr!

Twigs Can Fly said...

Hey dear, I'm a similar weight to you (:
Well, 2lbs more, but that'll be sorted soon!

I'm whoring my blog on your page, check it out!

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5

my measurements(may24):

red=met goal