Monday, November 30, 2009

if being skinny were easy,everyone would be it

i was more reserved than usually on thanksgiving and i didn't dissappoint myself
to the point of punishment. i was naughty when i came to dessert though so went
on a half hour walk to reverse the effects. i have been depressingly bad though
since i have come home, with all the take home desserts and leftovers!
shoot me in the stomach please.
i sometimes feel stronger that i dont have the stomach or strong enough will to be ana
that i once did and think maybe i dont derserve to look like ana.
but what kind of atittude is that.!
insprational quotes & music have helped greatly pulling me out of my slump.
i have been searching the web for all types of great hunger stopppers, and my favorites are

cold showers, hot berveages
when alone, laugh at food giving you the upper hand
counting tricks
walking around the block, yoga streches
drink water till you have to pee. (not literally)

to reconcile with my good behavoir i have decided i will partake in a water/juice fast for four days, starting TUESDAY!

Tuesday-
breakfast:
vegetable juice (from a juicer);containing-kale,celery, swiss chard,carrot,lemon,cabbage
lunch:
water
dinner:
water
Wednesday-
breakfast:
water with lemon
lunch:
fruit smootie
dinner:
water
Thursday-
breakfast:
water with lemon
lunch:
fruit smootie
dinner:
water
Friday-
breakfast:
water
lunch:
vegetable juice
dinner:
vegetable broth

WHEN HUNGER MUST GO TO LIQUIDS ONLY; milk, diluted juice, & vegtable broth

Friday will be the toughest day, me being at work(work at a healthfood store with a deli and everyone eats and asks one another what they have eaten, it proves to be very tricky).

so whose in?
coraline.

intake-
oatmeal: 140cal
with 1/2 a banana: 60cal
coffee: 10cal
soy milk:60
1/2 peanut butter & jam sandwich: 160cal
diet coke: 0 cals
4tbsp red pepper hummus: 120cal
celery sticks: 15cal
hundred calorie brownie: 100cal


outtake:
jog: 30 mins

No comments:

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5
forearm-8
wrist-5.5
bust-30
waist-25
ribcage-27
hips-33
thigh-16.5
calf-13

my measurements(may24):
upperarm-11
forearm-9
wrist-5.8
bust-32.5
ribcage-28.5
waist-26.5
hips-38.5
thigh-22
calf-14

red=met goal