Tuesday, June 1, 2010

sorry im a bum.

i haven't been on lately due to the wedding from hell. eh im over dramatic
my juice fast was both successful and unsuccessful
lastest through the 72 hours only to lose two pounds.not as much as i was anticipating.
i have been hanging out with mia the past couple of days.
she is the kind of friend who seems like she has a good idea but then those ideas always come back to bite you in the ass.
i think i gave up getting to my ideal weight for her wedding,
now im just trying to make it to a content weight. which is called settling.
what have i turned into. i think i am pathetic is because i couldn't careless about this wedding.
what i look like, or who seees me there. its sad but these people aka my family make me want to join a traveling circus.
you know somewhere that people are relatively more normal. i am the black sheep, and quite used to it.
im sure im not the only one.
how about some upbeat thinspo! to counteract my bad mood... :)


v. said...

hey hun, was wondering where you had disappeared to! a loss is a loss, so congrats on losing 2lbs.
Lovely thinspo.

~N~ said...

I really enjoy your blog. I can relate a lot to what you talk about! thx for being here!
love love

Cammie said...

hey!! your thinspo has been much needed and inspiring, as per usual.

and your 2 lbs are a really big deal. I'd kill to lose a single pound over.
keep going strong~

S. said...

I like your style and your blog.

/S / http:// mydarlingsolitude.blogspot.com

the feeling is mutual.

for your ears only

Prefection Found

-I want to be so thin, light, airy, that when the light hits me, I don't leave a shadow behind.
-when I walk across the snow I will not leave so much as one footprint
-I can dance between the raindrops in a downpour.
-And you're my obsession. I love you too the bones.
-I want to be light enough so a helium balloon could lift me and carry me to the clouds.
-I want to be as light as a feather and tumble
-Let your bones define the beauty of your body.
-Empty is pure. Starving is pure.
-I can get thinner. I can cut it all off. I can wear low slung Levi's and crop tops and long straight dresses like willowy models, and I will grasp with the breathlessness of being airborne. I can fly and be free. I never realized how easy it was.
-Ana, my friend, my companion. -Starve my pain away. Make me beautiful. Make everything ok. Turn my problems into bones. Crush them up. Gather the remains. Blow away the dust.
-Anyone can have "inner beauty" but few can earn real beauty, inside as well as out.
-Thin has a taste all its own.
-Nothing tastes as good as thin feels.
-Don't suffer from anorexia and bulimia. Enjoy every minute of it!
-People will remember you as Beautiful
-You'll be able to run faster without all that extra weight dragging you down.
-You will be able to see your beautiful, beautiful bones.
-Only thin people are graceful.
-You'll be able to move as quietly and skillfully as a spider.
-It's not like beauty will make you especially interesting, but it will help people to get interested in your soul. -Within me lies a treasure hunt. When I lose I win.
-Lose everything and what is real will still remain.
-One day I will be thin enough. Just the bones, no disfiguring flesh. Just the pure clear shape of me, bones. That is what we all are, what we're made up of and everything else is just storage, deposit, waste. Strip it away, use it up.
-I've freed myself from this compulsion of eating. When I wake, I am empty, light-headed. I love to stay this way, free and pure, light on my feet, traveling as a feather.
-We turn skeletons into goddesses and look to them as if they might teach us how not to need. -Junk food is cheap but thin is priceless.
-Blessed are the starving, for they shall teach us not to want.
-Let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find peace tonight.

que evil music

goal measurements:
upper arm-8.5

my measurements(may24):

red=met goal