It's the Mind that Makes the Body

i am convinced that i have been asking for trouble since i accepted the invitation to cook dinner (except the bird, of course) for thanksgiving! i swear i am staring a binge in the face and i will end up with my head in a toilet tomorrow night!

i have been searching up a storm looking for anyway to deceive my mom i ate during dinner.

i think the worst part about visiting my mom is she literally weighs 90 pounds! its like seeing her is a realization of what i heifer i really am! and she never eats either, its like she is the ana i always want to be minus the crazy.

stress always leads my over the edge, being with my mom always leads to stress...future solution, don't see my mother? doesn't seem probable.

i have been on top of being a disgusting pig these past days i have also been starting this smoking train, but i will not get hooked and end up having winkles like my mother.

i was thinking about this earlier:

you start out ana having this incredible strong will against food and not eating, but every time you eat it becomes a battle with food, eventually you your will weakens like forces in combat. you must not lose the war but food just continues to over power all your moves and strategies of war. Losing a battle here and there is not always mean you lose in the overall war. My war is won when I'm 105 pounds and loving my body.

i can't let food win.

INtake:

breakfast-

blueberry scone: 210

orange juice:120

lunch-

pear-80

dinner-

cereal-170

soy milk-90

spoonful of peanut butter-90

OUTtake:

Running-30mins

not one of my best days, i am going to plan a fast after thanksgiving, when i get back to my normal routine. wish me luck for Thanksgiving and i hope the same for you!

who wants to look like a fat pilgrims anyway?... :)

coraline